Challenging Relationship Destructors
Updated: Sep 19, 2018
G-Greatest Fear A-Assumptions I-Interpretations L-Limiting Beliefs
As humans, we are all created for relationship and connection. From the moment we were born, we were meant to love and to be loved by other people. But because all of us are imperfect humans, somewhere down the road of life, we get hurt and loose trust.
Thus, when trust is compromised, fear is created. We begin to develop coping mechanisms, through fear, out self-preservation. And sometimes we subconsciously disconnect on some level due to perceived fear.
Every relationship has two powerful motivating forces. Fear or Love.
When we choose love, we are creating connection through vulnerability, safety, trust, honor and peace. When we choose fear we disconnect through control, disrespect, shame and manipulation that further creates anxiety and distrust in relationships.
Thus, there are four major connection destructors that show up in relationships; Greatest Fear, Assumptions, Interpretations and Limiting Beliefs, or GAIL. This acronym can become a powerful tool in identifying one of these four destructors to our relationships. All four destructors are motivated by fear and always create disconnection in our relationships.
But good news!!! They can be overcome!
Deeper connection in relationships can occur when we become aware of these destructors, challenge them and intentionally choose love over fear.
In the next few weeks I'll be sending a short video, such as the one attached, at the beginning of each blog. I will define one of the four destructors and then ask a couple of questions about how that particular destructor effects your relationships.
I challenge you to find a quiet moment to evaluate your part in relationships and have the courage to get gut level honest with yourself while you write out answers for each question. I believe you and your relationships are worth this effort!
-In what relationships are you struggling with connection?
-How would you describe how you show up in these relationships?
-What do you want to change about how you show up in your relationships?
If you would like further coaching please email me firstname.lastname@example.org to book a session.